Windowpanes

The lush green landscape withers away from
my consciousness
I'm running from windowpanes
frosted
with my face pressed against the glass
watched you drive away
black stains appeared
on crumbled paper

The sunlight fades
and I feel the night closing in
wind chilling, whispering with
the trees
the image follows me

I'm running from windowpanes
memories of a haunted name
that enchants my reveries
and brings the rain
hiding the sunlight
on my skin
I'm running from windowpanes
and the frost within

by Ashley Dodge©

My Life

You are the keeper of the breath
in my lungs which produce
the cries from the depths of
my unquieted soul
I will search for you in every star
in the moon's dull glow over the Earth
in the evenings when sea mist rises and blankets
when all is quiet I will be still
in awe of the wonder
that you loved one like me
and I am forgiven
unworthy
of such a Keeper's love

by Ashley Dodge©

You

I'll wait for you by the ocean
watching the waves crash on sharp-edged rocks
sea lions' chants drifting in the distance
the fog carries my despair over
a city which doesn't sleep
I will be waiting for you
to claim me again
until I know my thirst for you
will never be quenched
I wait for a time when I give myself over
to the wonders of you...

by Ashley Dodge©

The Artist

stars were called by name
and placed throughout the universe, dark
expansive
glowing abundantly
small worlds were created, hung intricately
in place
I will search for You
in stars, in the twinkle of the night
when I see the moon rise,
I will see the Artist's glow
Your love burning radiantly
in the coolness of night
the changing colors of autumn
in the depths of my heart
I stare at the stars and feel
the universe shouting your name
in the silence I see a falling star
and feel Your presence
all around me.

by Ashley Dodge©

Rose

I promise when roses bloom again
I'll make rose wreaths and place
them in my hair
to remember when you brought me lilies
in the middle of a winter storm and yet
I would shake, in the night
unable to touch you
I sleep calmly again
and when I dream
I'm making rose wreaths
to put in my hair

by Ashley Dodge©

One day

the glimmer in the eyes of
the girl in the mirror
streaming tears down her
frostbitten face--weathered,
left cold over years
of dying to the world
and its promises, its expecations
falling for the lucrative lust
of lies in magazine pages
defining the purpose
and will to live
had nothing to do with character

the glimmer of the eyes of
the girl on the floor
a Bible in her hand
and a bottle of pills in another
who noticed the shards
stabbing into her heart?

The sparkle in the eyes
of the girl, just waking--
an overcast morning
she dresses pristinely
reads her Bible and drinks her coffee
wondering when, just when,
the pain will go away.

by Ashley Dodge©

fainted

I gathered my books
lay them on the couch
fell to the floor and wondered
I fainted and fell into
unconscious dreaming
falling into your voice, like honey
bittersweet, my tears tasted by your
tongue
this moment I surrender
to your intentions
your emotions

I gather my book
lay it to the side
of my twin bed
If I wandered away from here
would I shatter like glass
or remain frozen in this trance?

Your memories flood my desires
my wishes leak from the edges
your touch could bring it back
what had been misplaced

the book lies on the ground
unable to fend for itself
it burns
until my thoughts of you
drift away silently
on the smoke of those emails,
letters
and photographs--
memories of you.

by Ashley Dodge©

Part 2: Happy New Year!

Last night a decade ended. Or did it? Some say it isn't until 2011 when this decade is over. Either way, the excitement for this new year excites me, much like every year. Except this year, I didn't have a party, I didn't go out and staying up until midnight was nothing ( I stay up to at least two or three each night).
As the year ended, I found myself wondering exactly what I'd accomplished in 2009. I'd managed to overcome some horrible episodes of anxiety and loneliness. I finished an internship in a field I despised. I lost passion for the said field, but gained passion in another.
So this year, in following with my writing mantra, I'm set out to accomplish these goals:
-put together a book of my poetry
-finish my book I'm writing (look up Grammar Girl's "How to Write Your First Novel" podcast; its inspiring)
- find a new and exciting job
- and of course, weight loss would be awesome

Not really excellent or well-thought out goals, but these are just a few of many.

And a side note: if you haven't and you are a fan, Lady Gaga's The Fame Monster is incredibly different, energetic and excellent. I would suggest listening to it.