Fitting

Last night I dreamed of Ireland
even though I've never seen it
and of the ocean mists
so different than the West Coast
but I walked the streets of San Francisco
and still felt lost.

I dressed in summer to fit the
season
sundresses, blonde hair, sunscreen
but I hate the sun and the heat
makes me sick
I walked the shore of a Southern
California beach
and wish it would rain

but in the frost of deep winter
when all the trees have died and I
feel alive from the grey
heavy clouds hanging low on the
horizon
walking along the river's edge, watching children building snowmen
in a valley of trees, under a blanket of white

I put my headphones on-- shake the snow
out of my hair, sit down on a bench
and wait for the moment to come when
I'll hear your voice,
whispers on falling snow.

By Ashley Dodge©

Finding Harmony

She stood on the icy sidewalk in the middle of December
waiting for the cab to arrive, watching the city lights
glitter
She was blonde, she was brave, coming all this way
to be famous
but she had it wrong, she'd taken the wrong way searching for
Harmony who had
run away quietly
into the night.

Cobblestone sidewalks in air conditioned Paris,
outside the burning streets of Las Vegas
she's
sitting at the inside faux cafe, eating
a chocolate crepe sipping
espresso
trying to be brave
wondering where she'd gone wrong
where Harmony had decided to stay

Red hair, burning like the sun
walking among the bronzed people of LA
she wasn't an angel
she wasn't even blonde
when had she lost her way
how could it have gone so completely wrong

Hiding away in the snow
freezing and watching the lights from downtown glow
she walks away, turns out the lights
draws the curtain and says goodnight
to the rhyme
she'll become a riddle,
she'll find Harmony
find her tonight.

By Ashley Dodge©

Finished

I just finished my first novella about ten minutes ago. It's the strangest feeling-- I honestly never thought I would actually finish it. I've written so many unfinished stories and considered the fact that I may never finish them. And tonight, well, I feel so elated. Happy. Tired. And finally, the urge to finish the story that had been nagging me for awhile-- has ended.
I'm so happy right now that I probably won't get much sleep. But it was worth the staying up late! And now, it's editing time!

Autumn

I'm sitting here at my desk sipping on a peppermint mocha, staring out my window. The sky is overcast and the wind is blowing-- I cannot tell if it's chilly, or if, somehow, it's still slightly warm.
But I'm fully certain that now it is finally fall. The air has a different feel- crisp, like the leaves which are changing color (or are soon to be.) Soon, it will more than likely be snowing.
These days do not force me to wake up early. I jolt out of bed when I see the gray glow from in between my curtains. I do not want to miss this.
And soon, the holidays, my favorite time of year-- will begin. Pumpkins will give way to turkeys, then my favorite, Christmas. "Silver bells..."
I love autumn.



By Ashley Dodge©

bathrooms

Ever wondered why bathrooms are so comforting? I do. Whenever I get upset, I run to the bathroom and find myself on its cold floor, my head against the toilet or tub. I sink into the room, letting the bare walls rise above me, creating a protective barrier from myself and the outside world.
I don't understand why, but when I am huddled into the corner bleeding my eyes out, I feel most comfortable, most peaceful. In this room everything seems to sort itself out, all things fall into place.
Is it because I can lock the door and stay in this room for hours, if need be, and it will be socially acceptable for anyone to not ask why? Is it because it is the single room in the house which people will not find it in themselves to ask why we are going in there?
I don't know, but what I do know is, when I stand up, wash my face, and clean up my tears and unlock the door- I feel like I've left whatever pain I've had to face behind me.

Future

Share
with me dreams, scars, pleasure.
Take
with you my own.
Need
with me, together we will confront fear.
Unknown
to you I am a flightless bird,drained of will to fly
Create
with me poetry to dissolve
all leftover
anguish and tears.


By Ashley Dodge©

I spent four years hearing lies, now wondering why they aren't reality...could it be I was just delusional? Or maybe the lies are actually truth? Please spare me the "it'll be o.k." I know it will, I have faith it will. Just stop lying to me, will ya?