Easter

I saw Your beauty in the dawn, 

rain crashing against the window and I couldn't sleep so 

I took in the storm from the back porch and 

watching the branches bend but remain firm, yet 

swaying in the gusts 

I remember that on this morning, so long ago, 

life changed forever. 

 

Life's storms were over and replaced with only 

the most brilliant, brightest light

and while the cool mist of rain 

wets my face I realize now 

I am thankful, grateful, and I can dance knowing

I'm firmly rooted and 

You were my saving grace. 

Paper ____

The paper was blank. I stared at it- for five minutes, then ten. Then I looked at the clock. I'd been staring for an hour. And still, the paper remained: blank, pen resting next to it. I could hear the freeway outside, sirens in the distance. Someone across the hall was shouting into the phone.

The story- whenever it came to me, would be good. I just knew it. It was always like this, it seemed.
But when he had broken my heart, I thought for sure this would make my creative piece for class soar.

I was wrong.

The microwave beeped. I walked over, ripping open the bag of tea. Calming, yes. But it wouldn't help me write the amazing, creative story I knew was going bursting at the seams.

Cliche. Horrible language. Writer's block. Bored.

The piece of paper blew in the gentle breeze, settling onto the floor. One last glance was all I needed.

Delicate

Delicate, unfortunate and missing a piece of
paper in my journal where I once kept wishing
you would see and notice that I had cut my hair
for you
that I had worn winged eyeliner, for you
and still you never noticed me--
never looked at me twice
your voice always lingered in my dreams
and Wonderland was only complete when I took the
chance to follow you
but somehow now, this isn't good enough-
my hairspray can is empty
my eyeliner is smearing
and I'm still delicate
but standing on my own two feet.

New Year's Resolution

the list gets longer every year-- will
the year be kind, will it cruel will it be
the moment when my spotlight shines on me
or the moment where my lifeline unravels and
everything falls apart
and nothing is ever what it is again

worries, fear nothing left for me to understand- this year
will be whatever it is meant to be
because there is nothing left for me to believe in.




by Ashley Dodge©

Perfection

Out of the ordinary
outside of redemption
the players play their pieces
in the game of perfection
bodies are chiseled
eyes are opened

but no longer the sight of innocence
something deeper lurks

in a hollowed tunnel
visions of white
painful opinions
cut deeper than knives

a poem once true runs cold and
false now
as perfection has entered extinction
when love was the same but
less involved,
now.

by Ashley Dodge©

Imaginary Friend

Take me down to the river where I watched you
skip rocks in our childhood
and swing from the trees
never understanding what this adult life would bring

bills and paychecks and other things
that will eventually lead me away from you
my special river friend

you're all grown up now, long flowing hair
sparkling like the sun but you're only a
glimmer in my eye now
a shadow by my side

oh how childhood ruined us
our imaginations change into definitions
and theories of why we're living
when it was so uncomplicated
those hot days down by the river when you
would show up and we would
skip rocks all day.

by Ashley Dodge©

Writing.Love.Magic Blog

So in relation to this blog, I felt inspired to create a new space to share not just my poetry but to create a space where I could share with you my new start on living a happy and healthy life!

While I will still often update this blog, Writing.Love.Magic is another wonderful space where I can linger on all sorts of different thoughts-- the latest recipes I adore, the day-to-day thoughts that cannot be written as poetry.

Here's a link to Writing.Love.Magic.
Also, I write a column for a wonderful magazine dedicated to women sharing their thoughts about nearly everything-- science, photography, lifestyle. WildFlower Magazine, created by one of my good friends, is another wonderful place to visit if you're looking for a community of beautiful, strong and talented women and friends sharing their thoughts about the world.

As the lifestyle columnist for Wildflower Magazine, I encourage you all to stop by and say hello, or take a moment to read some of the amazing stories we have been sharing.

Happy Tuesday!

Sleep Deprived

Midnight crept in
but three a.m. ran
Before I knew it the sun was rising
and I fell out of Wonderland
Fell out? you ask
as if you think it's down below
But see, in Dreamland
Wonderland
is high, high above

I document these thoughts
in journals, pages bought
from the local giant bookstore
and read them aloud
to friends
who think I am crazy and need to stop
taking the melatonin

but I tell them, no, my mind never stops
and the melatonin shuts it off
even if the side effects are
bad dreams.

And because, in the daytime,
I see white rabbits out of the
corners of my eyes
and fairies ducking underneath the doorway
when I walk in with a handful of groceries

small glimmers of light and movement on white walls
and strange shadows dancing in the light
of my vanity

these are why I need a break
by the time night falls.


By Ashley Dodge©

Crush

Run with me in the rain
fresh and new inspired by grey
falling snow, slush and ice,
falling down-- we create snow angels,
leftovers meant to melt away
unable to stay for the night.

But tonight I have you
and rain will soak us through
but hold my hand,
walk me home.

Fitting

Last night I dreamed of Ireland
even though I've never seen it
and of the ocean mists
so different than the West Coast
but I walked the streets of San Francisco
and still felt lost.

I dressed in summer to fit the
season
sundresses, blonde hair, sunscreen
but I hate the sun and the heat
makes me sick
I walked the shore of a Southern
California beach
and wish it would rain

but in the frost of deep winter
when all the trees have died and I
feel alive from the grey
heavy clouds hanging low on the
horizon
walking along the river's edge, watching children building snowmen
in a valley of trees, under a blanket of white

I put my headphones on-- shake the snow
out of my hair, sit down on a bench
and wait for the moment to come when
I'll hear your voice,
whispers on falling snow.

By Ashley Dodge©

Finding Harmony

She stood on the icy sidewalk in the middle of December
waiting for the cab to arrive, watching the city lights
glitter
She was blonde, she was brave, coming all this way
to be famous
but she had it wrong, she'd taken the wrong way searching for
Harmony who had
run away quietly
into the night.

Cobblestone sidewalks in air conditioned Paris,
outside the burning streets of Las Vegas
she's
sitting at the inside faux cafe, eating
a chocolate crepe sipping
espresso
trying to be brave
wondering where she'd gone wrong
where Harmony had decided to stay

Red hair, burning like the sun
walking among the bronzed people of LA
she wasn't an angel
she wasn't even blonde
when had she lost her way
how could it have gone so completely wrong

Hiding away in the snow
freezing and watching the lights from downtown glow
she walks away, turns out the lights
draws the curtain and says goodnight
to the rhyme
she'll become a riddle,
she'll find Harmony
find her tonight.

By Ashley Dodge©

Finished

I just finished my first novella about ten minutes ago. It's the strangest feeling-- I honestly never thought I would actually finish it. I've written so many unfinished stories and considered the fact that I may never finish them. And tonight, well, I feel so elated. Happy. Tired. And finally, the urge to finish the story that had been nagging me for awhile-- has ended.
I'm so happy right now that I probably won't get much sleep. But it was worth the staying up late! And now, it's editing time!

Autumn

I'm sitting here at my desk sipping on a peppermint mocha, staring out my window. The sky is overcast and the wind is blowing-- I cannot tell if it's chilly, or if, somehow, it's still slightly warm.
But I'm fully certain that now it is finally fall. The air has a different feel- crisp, like the leaves which are changing color (or are soon to be.) Soon, it will more than likely be snowing.
These days do not force me to wake up early. I jolt out of bed when I see the gray glow from in between my curtains. I do not want to miss this.
And soon, the holidays, my favorite time of year-- will begin. Pumpkins will give way to turkeys, then my favorite, Christmas. "Silver bells..."
I love autumn.



By Ashley Dodge©

bathrooms

Ever wondered why bathrooms are so comforting? I do. Whenever I get upset, I run to the bathroom and find myself on its cold floor, my head against the toilet or tub. I sink into the room, letting the bare walls rise above me, creating a protective barrier from myself and the outside world.
I don't understand why, but when I am huddled into the corner bleeding my eyes out, I feel most comfortable, most peaceful. In this room everything seems to sort itself out, all things fall into place.
Is it because I can lock the door and stay in this room for hours, if need be, and it will be socially acceptable for anyone to not ask why? Is it because it is the single room in the house which people will not find it in themselves to ask why we are going in there?
I don't know, but what I do know is, when I stand up, wash my face, and clean up my tears and unlock the door- I feel like I've left whatever pain I've had to face behind me.

Future

Share
with me dreams, scars, pleasure.
Take
with you my own.
Need
with me, together we will confront fear.
Unknown
to you I am a flightless bird,drained of will to fly
Create
with me poetry to dissolve
all leftover
anguish and tears.


By Ashley Dodge©

I spent four years hearing lies, now wondering why they aren't reality...could it be I was just delusional? Or maybe the lies are actually truth? Please spare me the "it'll be o.k." I know it will, I have faith it will. Just stop lying to me, will ya?

Drifting

I'm finally finished with school. New possibilities, rethinking my writing, having time to edit. Amazing, how fast time passes.

Tonight I wandered away from the river house. I wandered down the pine-lined path of twilight and emerged on the other side. A small town, in the bottom of the valley, lights from downtown. Pale orange, like the sun when it had burnt her hair. The bar was quaint, quiet. The bar tender, Irish-accented, offered me a beer. I'd never drank.
I walked back home during at dawn. The forest always looks different. Less menacing, friendly. Trees whisper good morning, dew falling onto fresh-soaked grass.
I crawl into bed. No one hears it squeak.
I would return again.






By Ashley Dodge©

Crisis

A twilight glow falls over an endless
foggy haze and rushing winds--
which sweep my heart away, leaving in its path, dust and teardrops
which
blotting out my footsteps
make it harder to keep steady

I pass signs, signals and lightning flashes,
hitting the ground
raindrops shatter
what was left of
weather-beaten harmony
on this path

to unknown destiny
to unknown cities
towns, waiting quietly
up ahead
where this dusty, broken path leads...

Mid-Winter Saturday

Spring is attempting to push winter away, colliding into the season with full force. Winter presses forward with a biting wind, remnants of a midnight snow fall the night before. But spring's sun and warm 48-degree weather fights, fights to come through too early. It continues, only seconds left before the door closes behind me. I find out later, as I return across the damp, sunshine-lit March afternoon grass, that winter has won. The wind swirls my tangled red hair round, round, in front of my face. Getting stuck to my lipgloss. My sweater and flannel pajama pants were not enough, I think to myself, bursting back through the door. All this arguing, caught in the middle for the sake of bringing to my boyfriend's house breakfast--a box of Cocoa Puffs, Folgers coffee and my laptop, to do some homework.